How to Honor My Son While Still Celebrating Holidays

Navigating the holidays after losing a loved one is never easy, especially when they played such a big role in those special moments. For me, the holidays have become a time to honor Dylan in simple but meaningful ways, while still finding joy in celebrating with the people around me. Here’s how I’ve learned to balance both:

Create Traditions Around Their Memory

During Thanksgiving, I made brisket—a dish that may become a tradition for us. Dylan tried it for the first time while he was sick and absolutely loved it. He talked about it constantly, as he always had a deep love for food. It feels like a small way to bring him back to the table, even if just in spirit.

Mark Special Days With Intention

When Dylan's birthday came around, I went away and had a drink at a bar to toast to him—something we were supposed to do together that night. It wasn’t the same, of course, but it felt like a way to honor that plan, to carry out what we would have done. It was a quiet moment of connection with him, even though he wasn’t physically there.

To read more about that day... Honoring the Life: Celebrating my Son's Heavenly Birthday (pureheavenly27.com)

Keep Their Spirit Alive Through Familiar Traditions

New Year’s Eve become a night for lighting a fire—something Dylan would always ask for whenever he was home from the hospital. There’s something comforting about sitting by that fire, feeling his presence in the warmth and light. It’s a small way of keeping that part of him alive.

A Christmas Memory Close to My Heart

Christmas is especially meaningful now. Dylan passed away on November 27, 2023, and we knew his time was coming close. So, on November 22, 2023, we had our Christmas with him. We set up a tree at the hospice, exchanged gifts, and shared laughter together, making it a beautiful, bittersweet memory. That was our last Christmas with Dylan, and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Let Other Traditions Shift

Now, Christmas has shifted a bit. It’s more about the younger siblings and the magic they still believe in. I focus on their joy, their wonder, and the way they light up when they see the decorations and presents. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten Dylan, but instead, I allow myself to celebrate the beauty of the season through their eyes.

A Significant Anniversary Approaches

As the one-year anniversary of Dylan’s passing approaches, I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do yet. But I do know that whatever I decide, it will be great and meaningful. I want to honor him in a way that feels right and special, just as he was.

Give Yourself Permission to Do Both

Honoring Dylan during the holidays doesn’t mean I have to forgo the celebrations—it just means finding a way to blend the two. Some moments are for him, for those memories that are still so vivid. And other moments are for my family, for making new memories while cherishing the old ones.

Celebrate Life, Even Through Grief

It’s important to remember that you can honor and celebrate at the same time. Even though Dylan isn’t physically here, celebrating life—his life, and the lives of those still with us—helps me find that balance. Grief and joy can coexist, even during the holidays. It’s not always easy, but it’s possible.

If you're navigating the holidays without a loved one, give yourself the space to honor their memory in whatever way feels right to you. Whether it's through a favorite meal, a quiet toast, or simply taking a moment to reflect on the joy they brought into your life, you can find ways to blend honoring them with celebrating what the season still has to offer.

Healing Hearts Program

As part of my own journey, I’ve created the Healing Hearts program to help other grieving mothers find balance and healing during difficult times, especially around the holidays. It’s a holistic approach that focuses on self-care, journaling, and gentle rituals that support emotional healing. If you’re looking for a way to honor your loved one while caring for yourself, this 12 week self paced program offers tools to help you find peace and a path forward. You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Healing Hearts Program | Pure Heavenly 27